Saturday, 28 January 2017

Ask Uri - How Can I Make My Beard Grow Faster?

A question asked often by those who are struggling to grow a beard.

There are many claims that by using certain lotions and potions you can speed up the process of beard growth.

I have to be honest with you all now, they are all rubbish, you may as well sit under a tree and pray to the Lord Almighty for what little good it will do you

However, there are things that you can do to make yourself become more manly and in doing so your beard will grow just fine.

1. You must be a man, and not just in the sense that you have balls! 

2. You must learn how to wrestle bears and be friends with them afterwards.

3. You must learn how to drink vodka, shoot a gun, whilst riding a motorcycle and sidecar.

4. To be able to stand on your own two feet when every one else is trying to step on yours.

5. You must show compassion, but no mercy to those who do you wrong.

6. Never hold a grudge! Get even.

7. Eat as if it is your last meal - You never know it may well be.

8. Keep your feet dry at all times.

9. Make your enemies your friends and your friends fearful.

10. Never shave!

By following the above code your beard will grow magnificently and you will be the envy of your town.

Bearded brothers - stay bearded! 

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