Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Cossack Beard Oil - Why Men Should Use Beard Oil

There are a number of very good reasons why men should use beard oil.

Reason No 1:

This is a very simple reason and one that most men would not argue with. When an ex member of the KGB tells you to do something, it would be wise to listen and take note of his clear instructions. Failure to comply with his request in a timely manner can only be seen as non compliance and a sticky end no doubt will be his demise.

Reason No 2:

A beard that is not looked after makes a man look older than his years. Beard oil will rejuvenate your beard and make you feel and look more attractive. However, if you look like you chase parked cars for a hobby, not even a finely kept beard will help you!

Reason No 3:

A healthy beard gives you healthy skin. Every day use of beard oil replenishes natural oils in your beard and stops it from becoming dry and frizzy. Beard oil gets right to the root of the hair and can reduce itchiness and dry skin.

Reason No 4:

Beard oil oxidises unlike water based conditioners, thus the beard oil will soak into your beard giving it a shine and lustre, moisturising your skin to provide you with a healthy complexion of a Cossack!

Reason No 5:

The subtle tones that the range of Cossack Beard Oils give off are particularly attractive to those who like their men to smell like men. We take no responsibility for swooning, fainting, sniffing of ones facial follicles or being followed home by strays.

Whilst some men build a legacy, I decided to grow mine.

Cossack Beard Oil - The Story So Far

The beard oils have all been developed an are being used on Human Guinea Pigs (friends) who so far have not developed any signs of burns, rashes or flaky skin!

This I think is a good thing, No?

The bottles have been sourced and the labels are being designed and printed.

The packaging for the bottles have also been sourced along with the information sheets, which tells you that it is not good to drink or rub into your eyes, unless you wish to use it to extract information from someone. It is then an excellent product which makes it then look like a bizarre accident.

I'm sorry old habits do not just fade away!

The website is slowly under construction, this will take a little while as I am not brilliant with modern technology.

Give me a 12v battery, a wet sponge and a length of cable any day!

My Ural motorcycle and side car is also going to be displaying the brand of "Cossack Beard Oil" Designs are being drawn up as I type.

So a busy couple of days, it is all coming together slowly.

If you would like to pre-order any of my fabulous oils, please feel free to message me.

Some men build a legacy - I decided to grown mine

Cossack Beard Oil - My Introduction

My name is Major (Retd) Uri Brezhnev - ex KGB. On finding out that my cover was blown, I found myself having to lay low for several decades waiting for the dust to settle.

I lived in the Far East of my country, where I felt safe, trapping fur and living off the land.

Recently I felt it safe enough to venture out into the world once more, but now I must do this as a normal citizen.

Well, as normal as I can be!

On being discharged from the KGB with a new identity but not losing any of my old skills of mixing chemicals to sufficient poisonous strengths to kill a Black Bear with the tip of my umbrella, I decided to put these same skills to good use for once and invented my range of  “Cossack Beard Oils”

I emigrated to Great Britain and now reside in the New Forest on the South Coast where I can often be seen riding round on my trusty Soviet Stead a Ural motorcycle and sidecar.

My range of Beard Oils are a reminder of the Motherland, where my beard first took shape.

Whilst some men like my dear old friend Vladimir went on to build a legacy, through fate, I decided to grow mine.

Beard Oils That Will Be Available Shortly

Freshly Dug Grave
With subtle tones of white musk, carrot,  juniper and sandalwood blended with hazelnut oil giving a earthy smell of a freshly dug grave.

Black Sea
Hazelnut oil blended with subtle tones of white musk and sandalwood and the smell of the coast reminds me of those carefree days by the Black Sea waiting for my next assignment.

Citrus Mask
Jojoba and hazelnut oil, blended with white musk, rosewood and the hint of cut grass giving a zesty citrus smell, ideal to mask the smell of death.