Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Cossack Beard Oil - My Introduction

My name is Major (Retd) Uri Brezhnev - ex KGB. On finding out that my cover was blown, I found myself having to lay low for several decades waiting for the dust to settle.

I lived in the Far East of my country, where I felt safe, trapping fur and living off the land.

Recently I felt it safe enough to venture out into the world once more, but now I must do this as a normal citizen.

Well, as normal as I can be!

On being discharged from the KGB with a new identity but not losing any of my old skills of mixing chemicals to sufficient poisonous strengths to kill a Black Bear with the tip of my umbrella, I decided to put these same skills to good use for once and invented my range of  “Cossack Beard Oils”

I emigrated to Great Britain and now reside in the New Forest on the South Coast where I can often be seen riding round on my trusty Soviet Stead a Ural motorcycle and sidecar.

My range of Beard Oils are a reminder of the Motherland, where my beard first took shape.

Whilst some men like my dear old friend Vladimir went on to build a legacy, through fate, I decided to grow mine.

Beard Oils That Will Be Available Shortly

Freshly Dug Grave
With subtle tones of white musk, carrot,  juniper and sandalwood blended with hazelnut oil giving a earthy smell of a freshly dug grave.

Black Sea
Hazelnut oil blended with subtle tones of white musk and sandalwood and the smell of the coast reminds me of those carefree days by the Black Sea waiting for my next assignment.

Citrus Mask
Jojoba and hazelnut oil, blended with white musk, rosewood and the hint of cut grass giving a zesty citrus smell, ideal to mask the smell of death.

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